


The Force is an Asshole

by ladydragon76



Series: MaulTober 2019 [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, MaulTober
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 09:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21177239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladydragon76/pseuds/ladydragon76
Summary: Summary:No, but it really is.





	The Force is an Asshole

**Author's Note:**

> **'Verse:** Star Wars  
**Series:** MaulTober 2019  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Characters:** Darth Maul, Obi Wan Kenobi  
**Warnings:** None  
**Notes:** For MaulTober's 'Smaul' prompt.

The Force was sentient, Maul decided.

And an _asshole_!

He stood ankle-high to his enemy, and blast Obi Wan Kenobi to the hottest, most fiery depths of Mustafar, because the bastard was _laughing_. Maul glanced to the side and glared at his entirely-too-large-for-his-miniscule-hands-to-wield lightsaber and scowled.

"Force, you're too cute like this," Kenobi chortled, and Maul was _scooped up in one hand_! "But likely to be stepped on. Or eaten by a rat."

"I'm not that small!" Then again, he was now sitting in the palm of Kenobi's hand with room to spare. Maybe a rat could eat him, though he rather thought he would explode it's brain before it had the chance.

Also- fripping hells, was that _his_ voice now?!

Kenobi, the ass, cooed and laughed. "You really are. Now tell me, shall we continue our fight, or would you rather I transport you somewhere safe?"

Maul glared and tried to make Kenobi's brain explode, but given the arched eyebrow and entirely too amused grin, Kenobi's grey matter was safe for the moment.

"Fine," Maul replied gracelessly and crossed his arms. "Bring my saber!" he snapped when Kenobi went to turn and leave without it.

Kenobi was laughing again, but he held out his free hand and Maul's saber smacked lightly into his palm. "I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest the will of the Force is that we don't fight." Maul turned his face away pointedly. "Sulking won't change it. We'll go back to my ship and meditate on what this was done for."

"I hate you so much," Maul said -with feeling- and flopped back. He stared upside down at Kenobi's grinning face and wished to cave it in. Maybe a punch from his tiny fist would puncture the pale skin?

"I know," Kenobi said, though the serene tone of the statement was ruined by his smirk. "Please stop glowering, my heart's melting."

Maul rolled over needing _away_, but Kenobi was quick to curl his fingers and prevent him from falling- escaping. Heaving a sigh, Maul let his body go limp. He was not escaping this. He had no idea how to regain his proper size. And he really was pragmatic enough to know he wouldn't survive long alone. It rankled though.

A lot.

"No more calling me cute," Maul said, arms hanging loose over the side of Kenobi's hand.

"I'll do my best."

"This is serious, Kenobi." Maul turned to look up at the Jedi, face as expressionless as he could make it. He even pushed a hint of fear into his aura hoping Kenobi would sense it and his foolish Jedi compassion would temper that ridiculous sense of humor of his.

It worked- the idiot. Kenobi's face softened and he gave a little nod before peering around a corner and into the crowded street beyond. "Alright. How would you feel about riding in my pocket so no one sees you?" He tapped a finger to the left side of his chest. "There's one here I keep my ID in."

Maul actually considered that a moment. "The pocket will do." He would also be closer to punching Kenobi in the face -ooo! Throat!- if he tried to get funny again. That would be nice.

**Author's Note:**

> Want to know what else I'm up to and where to find me? Click [HERE](https://ladydragon76.dreamwidth.org/334490.html)!


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